(It was a Saturday morning. Sean and Rhana pull into a half empty diner on a lonely interstate. Rhana doesn’t take off her sunglasses as they sit down and motions to Sean to get her coffee. Lots of it.)
Sean: Good morning
Rhana: Yo. So… how was Twilight?
Sean: OMG. SOOOOO GOOOD
Rhana: You’re really a 13 yo girl, aren’t you?
Sean: Look, you’ve read them. You’re the 13 year old girl.
Rhana: I read them because I was doing research.
Rhana: I wish the whole vampire phenomenon would just go away.
Sean: But I fear what would replace it.
Rhana: Mummies. Trolls.
Sean: The Mummy Diaries.
Rhana: Mummy Dearest.
Sean: Let’s Throw Mummy From The Train. So, the whole reason we haven’t spoken in so long is because you’re ‘researching’ Twilight?
Rhana: Yes, I’m writing a knock-off called Sundown.
Sean : Please. Tell me more.
Rhana: It’s about a lone vampire who walks around in the Old West, looking for his half brother, John Johnson.David Carridine will play the vampire in the movie/TV show. And maybe there will be Kung-fu.
Sean: The dead David Carradine? I like it.
Rhana: Publishers are totally lining up.
Sean: Do you have a total girl crush on Kristen Stewart? You can tell me. No one reads this thing.
Rhana: I’m not sure. I kind of do and then sometimes, I just want to kick her pouty face. But that’s just me.
Sean : A friend of mine once said Kristen Stewart always looks like she has to poop.
Rhana: There’s a greeting card right there.
Sean: I admit I don’t know much about Twilight other than I don’t mind looking at Kristen Stewart in jeans.So I guess I’m like most middle aged males in North America.
Rhana: It may be better than the books.
Sean: Ha! So what else you been up to? How’s that nanny job coming along?
Rhana: I have soooo many people who want my services. That’s the curse of being Asian.
Either people think I I’m the nanny OR the housekeeper.
Sean: The witty nanny with the smart remarks that makes the laugh track go off. “Ooooh, that Rhana!”
Rhana: NBC has rights to the sitcom.
Sean: I’d watch that over New Girl.
Rhana: You don’t like New Girl??
Sean: I HATE IT.
Rhana: Max Greenfield is hilarious
Rhana: I watch it because of him.
Sean: Must be an American thing. I’m glad it brings you joy.
Rhana: Oh wait, you like to watch intellectual shows like Whitney.
Sean: Here it comes. I have never seen Whitney. I did see Chelsea Lately, and man oh man, you are so Chelsea’s sister.
Rhana: Stop talking and I’ll take that as a compliment.
Sean: You both sound the same.YOU HAVE THE SAME VOICE.
Sean: No, just that sarcastic, cutting way of making people feel dumb. Like now. I like it. Let’s be friends.
Rhana: I’ve added you to my Do Not Call list.
Sean: See any movies lately?
Rhana: The Amazing Spider-Man. It was okay. That’s my critique.
Sean: I think that was the consensus world wide. Every review was just three words. “It was okay.”
Rhana: So there you have it.
Sean: Have you started Misfits yet?
Sean: I swear, woman….
Rhana: I still have a pile of YA novels to get through. RESEARCH.
Sean: Forty minutes an episode. OF AWESOME. (sigh) What novels are you reading? Vamp Lit? Angel Lit? Cutter Lit?
Rhana: Days of Blood and Starlight - chimera/angel love.
Sean: Nice title. Does Kristen Stewart wear jeans in that one?
Rhana: No, you wish.
Sean: Chimeras are changelings, right?
Rhana: They’re beings made up of several different genetic parts, like a she-wolf-dolphin-bat, for example.
Sean: Oh, right. Sorry. Forgot my Shadowrun.What games are you playing? Guys love hearing about women who play games. Game us, Rhana.
Rhana: I just downloaded The Dark Knight Rises on the iPad. it’s actually pretty entertaining. They don’t make that game for the Blackberry, by the way, in case you were wondering.
Sean: The only game they make for the Blackberry is FRUSTRATION. It comes free.
Rhana: I figured as much.
Sean: So what’s the deal with the Dark Knight game?
Rhana: Well, you glide around Gotham looking for Cat Woman and hurt a couple bad guys. I didn’t get very far because the 8-yo saw it and took over.
Sean: This is why I don’t have kids.
Rhana: Sharing is not cool.
Sean: Although if I did have kids I’d let them grind my JRPG characters for me.
Sean: ‘Here, Alphonse, hit this guy over and over.”
Rhana: Of course your kid would be named Alphonse.
Sean: Of course. If I had a girl, I’d call her Trixie Dynamite.
Rhana: Your inability to separate comic book life from reality is hilarious.
Sean: That’s why I assume you’re just one of the X-Men.
Rhana: It’s a good guess. At least I’m not a vampire.