Rhana & Sean Talk About Stuff and Stuff

After too long apart, Rhana and Sean finally meet up at a Dragonlance cosplay convention. Both were dressed as Raistlin. This conversation took place in the long bathroom line.

Rhana: Low and behold. The king is here.

Sean: Well, fuck me. It’s you. OH MY GOD.

Rhana: You’re the one who is busy all the time. With work. And stuff.

Sean: Yeah, real busy. Being a mid life crisis afflicted failure takes up soooo much time

Rhana: At least i know what I have to look forward to. How was Fringe?

(Rhana has recently convinced Sean to watch Fringe. Arm bars were employed.)

Sean:  It was okay. Mythology episode.  Bald guy episode.   Season one still.

Rhana: It gets better. Then weird.

Sean: So how is President’s Day? Or is it Predator’s Day? I like that better.

Rhana: Predator’s Day sounds better. And like a real holiday.

Sean: “Don’t have time to bleed this Predator’s Day? Let us do it for you. The American Red Cross.”

Rhana: Ha.

Sean: So apparently Harrison Ford is in the next Star Wars. And my sources say he’s going to die in it.

Rhana: Isn’t he already dead?  Rimshot.

Sean: He’s in the Witness Protection Program. Ha ha! Get it?

  Because that was his last good movie

  So…protect it.

  ahem.

Rhana: You mean, you didn’t like Indiana Jones and Stupid Crystal Skulls?

Sean: I know you were a fan. I’ve read your fan fiction. Intriguing stuff.

Rhana: If I didn’t already hate you, I’d tell you ‘I hate you’ right now.

Sean: I value our open and honest communciation.

Rhana: Oh wait, you probably liked Random Hearts because you’re a softy like that.

Sean:  Never heard of it. Sounds too much like ‘Love, Actually’, which sounds a lot like ‘a pile of cinematic shit.’

Rhana: I wish I could punch you so hard right now.

Sean: So do I, but really, the new Star Wars. We must bond over this. Save our dying marriage.

Rhana: Are they bringing back Chewbacca?

Sean: I have no idea. He died in the novels—stupidly, I will add—so I don’t know if they ignore those. I hope they do.

Rhana: If there are Ewoks, then I’m done.

Sean: If there are Ewoks, I hope JJ Abrams blinds them with lens flare and they fall into a fire

Rhana: You’re mean.

Sean: We can never understand Ewoks. What if they’re actually saying the most horrible things?  I like the idea of racist Ewoks.

Rhana: I think Ewoks are related to Gremlins.

Sean: Sorry, you reminded me of Phoebe Cates so I hope she’s in the next Star Wars. Maybe she’ll kill Han Solo by giving him a heart attack as she dives into a Coruscant pool.

Rhana: There’s going to be nudity in the movie?

Sean: I hope so.  It’s what Star Wars needs.

Rhana: I think more people would watch it.

Sean: Gives a whole new interpretation of ‘lightsaber’.

  And ‘Sarlacc pit.’

Rhana: You’ve been waiting for that, haven’t you?

Sean: For the last twenty four years.

(It was a Saturday morning. Sean and Rhana pull into a half empty diner on a lonely interstate. Rhana doesn’t take off her sunglasses as they sit down and motions to Sean to get her coffee. Lots of it.)

Sean:  Good morning

Rhana:  Yo. So… how was Twilight?

Sean:  OMG.  SOOOOO GOOOD

Rhana:  You’re really a 13 yo girl, aren’t you?

Sean:  Look, you’ve read them. You’re the 13 year old girl.

Rhana:  I read them because I was doing research.

Sean:  Uh-huh.

Rhana:  I wish the whole vampire phenomenon would just go away.

Sean: But I fear what would replace it.

Rhana:  Mummies. Trolls.

Sean:  The Mummy Diaries.

Rhana:  Mummy Dearest.

Sean:  Let’s Throw Mummy From The Train. So, the whole reason we haven’t spoken in so long is because you’re ‘researching’ Twilight?

Rhana:  Yes, I’m writing a knock-off called Sundown.

Sean :  Please. Tell me more.

Rhana:  It’s about a lone vampire who walks around in the Old West, looking for his half brother, John Johnson.David Carridine will play the vampire in the movie/TV show. And maybe there will be Kung-fu.

Sean:  The dead David Carradine? I like it.

Rhana:  Publishers are totally lining up.

Sean:  Do you have a total girl crush on Kristen Stewart? You can tell me. No one reads this thing.

Rhana:  I’m not sure. I kind of do and then sometimes, I just want to kick her pouty face. But that’s just me.

Sean :  A friend of mine once said Kristen Stewart always looks like she has to poop.

Rhana:  There’s a greeting card right there.

Sean:  I admit I don’t know much about Twilight other than I don’t mind looking at Kristen Stewart in jeans.So I guess I’m like most middle aged males in North America.

 Rhana:  Here is my all time favorite Twilight explanation http://www.cracked.com/funny-36-twilight/

Rhana:  It may be better than the books.

Sean:  Ha! So what else you been up to? How’s that nanny job coming along?

Rhana:  I have soooo many people who want my services. That’s the curse of being Asian.

Either people think I I’m the nanny OR the housekeeper.

Sean:  The witty nanny with the smart remarks that makes the laugh track go off. “Ooooh, that Rhana!”

Rhana:  NBC has rights to the sitcom.

 Sean:  I’d watch that over New Girl.

 Rhana:  You don’t like New Girl??

 Sean:  I HATE IT.

Rhana:  Max Greenfield is hilarious

Sean:  …

Rhana:  I watch it because of him.

 Sean:  …

Rhana:  Fine.

Sean:  Must be an American thing. I’m glad it brings you joy.

Rhana:  Oh wait, you like to watch intellectual shows like Whitney.

Sean:  Here it comes. I have never seen Whitney. I did see Chelsea Lately, and man oh man, you are so Chelsea’s sister.

Rhana:  Stop talking and I’ll take that as a compliment.

Sean:  You both sound the same.YOU HAVE THE SAME VOICE.

Rhana:  Nasally?

Sean:  No, just that sarcastic, cutting way of making people feel dumb. Like now. I like it. Let’s be friends.

Rhana:  I’ve added you to my Do Not Call list.

Sean:  See any movies lately?

Rhana:  The Amazing Spider-Man. It was okay. That’s my critique.

Sean:  I think that was the consensus world wide. Every review was just three words. “It was okay.”

Rhana:  So there you have it.

Sean:  Have you started Misfits yet?

Rhana:  NO.

Sean:  I swear, woman….

Rhana:  I still have a pile of YA novels to get through. RESEARCH.

Sean:  Forty minutes an episode. OF AWESOME. (sigh) What novels are you reading? Vamp Lit? Angel Lit? Cutter Lit?

Rhana:  Days of Blood and Starlight - chimera/angel love.

Sean:  Nice title. Does Kristen Stewart wear jeans in that one?

Rhana:  No, you wish.

Sean:  Chimeras are changelings, right?

Rhana:  They’re beings made up of several different genetic parts, like a she-wolf-dolphin-bat, for example.

Sean:  Oh, right. Sorry. Forgot my Shadowrun.What games are you playing? Guys love hearing about women who play games. Game us, Rhana.

Rhana:  I just downloaded The Dark Knight Rises on the iPad. it’s actually pretty entertaining. They don’t make that game for the Blackberry, by the way, in case you were wondering.

Sean:  The only game they make for the Blackberry is FRUSTRATION. It comes free.

Rhana:  I figured as much.

Sean:  So what’s the deal with the Dark Knight game?

Rhana:  Well, you glide around Gotham looking for Cat Woman and hurt a couple bad guys. I didn’t get very far because the 8-yo saw it and took over.

Sean:  This is why I don’t have kids.

Rhana:  Sharing is not cool.

Sean:  Although if I did have kids I’d let them grind my JRPG characters for me.

Rhana:  Ha.

Sean:  ‘Here, Alphonse, hit this guy over and over.”

Rhana:  Of course your kid would be named Alphonse.

Sean:  Of course. If I had a girl, I’d call her Trixie Dynamite.

Rhana:  Your inability to separate comic book life from reality is hilarious.

 Sean:  That’s why I assume you’re just one of the X-Men.

Rhana:  It’s a good guess. At least I’m not a vampire.

(After too long a time, Sean and Rhana sit down for a coffee together via the Interwebs. This is what happened.)

Rhana:  What the hell takes you so long?

 Sean:  I have an old computer and had to watch lots of porn first.

 Rhana:  Do you have hamsters running on a wheel to power your computer?

 Sean:  grrrrr

 Rhana:  Porn slows down the computer. so I’ve heard. Grrrrr yourself.

 Sean:  I’m 47 with a high school diploma. Make allowances. I only managed one year of college.

 Rhana:  That’s better than none.

 Sean:  Went for a second year, dropped out, moved in with a punk rocker, and so there it is.

 Rhana:  It’s a good story that I will tell my children.

 Sean:  Dear kids. Stay in school forever. Love, Mom.

 Rhana: My daughter  told me last week that she’s considering Harvard for college. And I’m like “What the fuck - you can’t pick a cheap-ass public college?”

 Sean:  Maybe she’ll scholarship up.

 Rhana: Probably. She’s too smart to be our kid. She was supposed to bring in a few things for school yesterday that represent her. And she brought in an autobiography about Nikola Tesla. And she wrote down a bunch of his formulas and stuff.

Sean:  I adore this kid. See Tesla is getting his museum now?

Rhana:  And she also brought the complete works of Edgar Allen Poe. She did tell me something about the museum. About time.

Sean:  The Oatmeal did a Kickstarter and hit their target. They have a great Tesla comic there.

Rhana:  I must see this. I’d like to do a Kickstarter thing, but I think people would bill me instead of donate money.

Sean: I watched most of Moneyball today and thought of you. I thought I’d watch a sports thing.

Rhana:  Did you like it?

Sean:  I’m not done yet. But I like what I saw.

Rhana:  Oh. Sorry. Carl I enjoyed it as well, although he was convinced he was going to hate it. I’m surprised I got through it because Brad Pitt is not one of my favorite people.

Sean:  Why? He’s HANDSOME.AND DREAMY

Rhana:  Ever since Legends of the Fall, he just seems to irk me. YOU think he’s handsome and dreamy.

Sean: You’re going to ruin it. 

Rhana:  I’ve ruined it. I’m like the plague that way. The Bubonic Plague AKA Rhana.

Sean:  That should be either your wrestling name and/or porn name

Rhana:  I think it works in both. I’ll ask Vince McMahon.

Sean:  Oh, we saw this real honey last night.

Rhana:  Do people still say ‘honey’ in that context?

Sean:  We do in Canada.

Rhana:  Oh my god, I’m back in 1995.

Sean:  It’s still 1995 here. We’re all dial up internet.

Rhana:  Do you say “hella”

Sean:  Yes, we say ‘hella’ on BBS

Rhana:  I have a modem I can give you, by the way.

Sean:  What is this sorcery of which you speak

 Rhana:  So about this “honey”…

 Sean:  Yes. She was about thirty, beach blonde hair, with a kinda shirt that became a skirt. And was three sizes too small.

Rhana:  I like to call those sizes SMARGES.

Sean:  I was with a friend at a coffee joint and she was ahead of us on what we assume was a Plenty of Fish third date.

Rhana:  Did you two mature adults snicker and giggle?

Sean:  No, we looked away, but she kept bending down ALL THE TIME. In three inch heels. And she wasn’t wearing a bra. And the front of her shirt/skirt kept flopping open. Her boyfriend wore his sunglasses above his eyes and seemed the happiest man on Earth.

Rhana:  Shit. You two were in a porno. THAT was that weird music you were hearing in the background.

Sean:  You see, that sort of display doesn’t work on me. A woman reading Reddit in black framed glasses? Mrrrow. So that was entertaining in a sad, the human race is dying sort of way.

Rhana:  Life is fun in Canada.

Sean:  OH MY GOD. I just learned that you can play Zork in Black Ops.

Rhana:  Great. Thanks.

Sean:  Ouch. Your uncaring cuts deep. I’m surprised we never went out.

Rhana:  I was more of a bitch in college than I am now. I probably would’ve rolled my eyes at you.

Sean:  You mean it was WORSE? Dear God.

Rhana:  It was bad.

Sean:   I really don’t want to imagine it. You would have crippled me.

Rhana:  Ain’t that the truth.

Sean:  If you had to online date, what service would you choose?

Rhana:  Shit, I don’t know. The one with the farmers is quite amusing. Or the one for the over 50 crowd. They should actually just mix those two together and you have a plethora of lovely candidates.

Sean:  There’s one aimed at geeks that you think might be okay but it just seems a portal to nightmare.

Rhana:  I thought they were all portals to some sort of evil.

Sean:  It’s flavours of evil.

Rhana:  I got set-up on a blind date one time - he ate and drank 10 times more than me and he left me with the bill. it was over $200. He talked about himself and baseball the entire time.

Sean:  Man, what a douche.

Rhana:  Douche times 5

Sean:  I’ve never had a blind date.

Rhana:  Good. They’re bad news.

Sean:  I asked a woman out at the comic store once. It turned out badly.

Rhana:  Yeah, I could’ve told you that wouldn’t end well.

Sean:  I was poor(er) at the time, and could only afford plastic razors.

Rhana:  There’s nothing wrong with plastic razors

Sean:  So I was running late, and had to shave real quick, and ran out the door. Go through the entire date, and she can’t get away fast enough. Get home, look in the mirror, and may face is covered in dried blood.

Rhana:  Oh my God - you were the original Dexter.

 Sean:  WHY WOULDN”T SHE SAY SOMETHING?

 Rhana:  Canadians suffer quietly.

(image from chib. enjoycel.com)

WARNING: SPOILERS FOR THAT BATMAN MOVIE WHAT JUST CAME OUT.

Sean:  So, Rhana, I heard you went to the movies. FINALLY.

 Rhana:  Hey, you have three kids and see how easy to get shit done (said in a super nice voice)

 Sean:  Hey, I have to keep up with my video games and comic books, so I know what time pressure is like.

Rhana:  You know how Bane breaks Batman’s back? I’m thinking I need to do that to you right about NOW.

Sean:  As a last request, could you dress as Catwoman first?

Rhana:  I highly doubt I could even get my arm into that thing.

Sean:  So, we’re talking about The Dark Knight Rises. And I’ve been waiting weeks for you to see it. So? SO?

Rhana:  I loved it. Did you have any doubts that I wouldn’t it?

Sean:  I thought Bane might scare you. I mean, didn’t Paranormal Activity scare you?

Rhana:  I still hate you for recommending Paranormal Activity. I actually enjoyed Tom Hardy’s Bane. I think I just enjoy Tom Hardy.

Sean:  But how could you tell it was him? He had that Marquis De Sade air filter on his face. It could have been Hulk Hogan.

 Rhana:  Thank fuck it wasn’t Hulk Hogan

 Sean:  I kinda wish Chris Nolan had hired nothing but wrestlers. Chyna as Selina Kyle?

 Rhana:  Ugh. She does porn now. Chyna, that is.

 Sean:  I have to eat later, you know.

 Rhana:  I’m just saying. I read an article on the plane once.There is no erasing that from my memory.

 Sean:  Good for you, Rhana! Oh, an article on porn. I thought you were just looking for validation.

Rhana:  Then I had to read the article for you because we both know what horrendous reading skills you have. You’re picture book of the month will arrive shortly.

Sean:  You’re?

Rhana:  YOUR

Sean:  Oh, SNAP

Rhana: I can’t type today.

Sean:  Now, SPOILER ALERT….Did you see Talia coming?

Rhana:  I did not. And I liked that part of the story.It was a good twist (listen up, M. Night).

Sean:  I grew up reading the Seventies Batman comics, the classics by Denny O’Neil, and so did Nolan. Talia was a big part of those. I should have seen it.

Rhana:  I’m changing my last name to al Ghul.

Sean:  Rhana Al Ghul. I kind of see you as Cheshire, though.

Rhana:  Hmm…I don’t know. Doesn’t Talia have Batman’s child in the comic book?

Sean:  Yes, Damian. He’s a little bastard.

Rhana:  But he becomes Robin later, right?

Sean:  He is Robin right now. Keeps trying to kill people. Took a shovel to the Joker’s head.

Rhana:  I have a lot of reading to catch up on.

Sean:  No, a crowbar. Because Joker killed Jason Todd with a crowbar. Who Talia later trained after he was resurrected. That Talia. The bad penny.

Rhana:  Your NERD is showing.

Sean:  Sorry. I’ll zip up.

 Rhana:  I have Death and the Maidens somewhere around here. I still have to read it.

 Sean:  Did you like Anne Hathaway?

 Rhana:  I liked her conflicted character. I bet you loved her.

 Sean:  I did. I loved how she was channeling Adrienne Barbeau in her vocal delivery.

 Rhana:  Oh, that Chesty La Rue, I mean, Adrienne Barbeau.

 Sean:  She was so big in the Eighties. Is there a pun there?

 Rhana:  Of course not.

 Sean:  She and Loni Anderson adorned my locker. I had class.

 Rhana:  Did you have feathered hair?

 Sean:  Fucken A.

 Rhana:  YOU DID!

 Sean:  When you were running around arcades with your bag of quarters, I was the guy brushing his hair by the Defender machine.

 Rhana:  Your plastic Goody brush.

 Sean:  YES!

 Rhana:  My hair wouldn’t feather.

 Sean:  Was this pre-or post bowl cut?

 Rhana:  Post. My mom did have my bangs permed in 1984 - that sort of thing is unforgivable in my book, but she claims it never happened. That’s what pictures are for, woman!

 Sean:  I think we’re off topic again. But you must post those pics.

 Rhana:  We were on a topic?

 Sean:  Our ADD means our screenplay will be a big hit in art houses with the clinically depressed.

 Rhana:  If you say so. I told my parents about our screenplay. I can hear them nodding their heads, but not believing a word I say. They’re not getting anything for the next 10 Christmases.

 Sean:  My mother said… “That’s nice.” So since we’re screenplay masters……what would you change in the Dark Knight script?

 Rhana:  I’d probably change the whole Daggett character and those scenes. And probably edit the movie down a little.

 Sean:  It did run a little long.

 Rhana:  There was a lot of shit going on. It was nice to see Matthew Modine working on the big screen again.By the way.

 Sean:  I didn’t even recognize him until you pointed it out.

 Rhana:  Were you staring at Anne Hathaway the entire time?

 Sean:  There was entrancing. Her scene in the bar was great.

 Rhana:  Did you like JGL’s role?

 Sean:  I did. I like him, over all, but I thought he was perfect in the role we didn’t know he was playing until the end.

 Rhana:  I thought he was good in that role as well. I enjoyed the progression of his character.

 Sean:  The subtle nod about his name was perfect.And the final scene? Yes.

 Rhana:  YES.

 Sean:  If I could change anything, I would have put in a reference to the Joker.

 Rhana:  Like?

 Sean:  Just a line. Like he was out causing shit somewhere and wasn’t in Gotham when Bane locked it down. That he was still out there. I understand why he wasn’t mentioned, but in years to come, it will seem odd.

 Rhana:  I liked the Killer Croc reference.

 Sean:  Killer Croc? I didn’t hear that.

 Rhana:  After Gordon is pulled from the sewers, he’s questioned about his time in the tunnels and asks if he saw any giant alligators. There were a few of us that laughed at the line in the theater.

Sean:  Oooh, completely missed that. Nerd. Do you need your inhaler?

Rhana:  Perhaps I read too much into that line. OR perhaps I’m smarter than most.

Or perhaps I need a beer.

Sean:  I can take a hint. So what do you think of the trilogy overall?

Rhana:  LOVE. I wish I wrote it. Damn you, Nolan brothers! Damn you, David S.!

Sean:  Hey, just wait. Our Bat-Mite screenplay will make this pale in comparison. Especially the second film, when Ace the Bat-Hound pees on the Bat Signal.

 Rhana:  That’s all you, man. That’s all you.

(Warning: This following waste of internet contains spoilers for the Paranormal Activity series.)

Rhana: Have you seen any cool movies lately? And by cool, I mean, movies that DON’T suck.

 Sean:  You think all my movies suck, so you mean one that doesn’t suck as much, right?

 Rhana:  Yes, Ebert, that’s what I mean.

 Sean:  Well, I saw Tinker Tailor, Soldier Spy which was weird because it had Sherlock Holmes, Commissioner Gordon and Bane fighting commies.

 Rhana:  It’s like the Justice League. In England.

 Sean:  And it took place in the Seventies, so I have no idea. I’m going to try and find the comic. Have you seen anything?

Rhana:  I watched one movie because you couldn’t stop talking about the series. Remind me to kick you later.

Sean:  Hey, the Pokemon films are underrated…

Rhana:  You’ve just told everyone you’ve watched Pokemon movies. My kids won’t even watch those.

Sean:  I weep for the next generation. Are you talking about the Paranormal Activity films?

Rhana:  You’ll be crying for a long time. And yes, I’m talking about the Paranormal Activity movies. So I watched the first one yesterday.

Sean:  Pretty awesome, right? AMIRITE?

Rhana:  NO.

Sean:  Well, let’s see what you do consider a great horror film. Which one is your favourite? Are you a slasher girl?

Rhana:  The Exorcist. Didn’t that scare you? Linda Blair forever haunts me.

Sean:  Well, that’s a classic. I still get freaked out by it. But lower grade horror. You liked the Fright Night remake, right?

 Rhana:  That was okay, but NOT scary.

 Sean:  Okay, there are Aerosmith albums that are scarier, but for different reasons.

 Rhana:  The Blair Witch Project scared me. Sometimes, Carl will be facing a corner in a room when I walk in. I hate him sometimes.

 Sean:  HA HA! I like Carl. So you found Blair Witch scary, but not PA? Weird. You are weird. I will now always call you Weird Rhana.

 Rhana:  What was so scary about PA? ALSO, I think I lessened the scare factor because I was squinting or sort of looking out the window while watching the movie. THAT’s how I do horror movie.

Sean:  Well, watching a horror film in full daylight while not watching all of it may have played a small role. I thought the build up of fear was interesting. The scenes where Big Eyes stands beside the bed for like three hours looking at Dork Meat? SCARY.

Rhana:  Huh. Somehow I kinda missed that.

Sean:  You missed that. You saw the movie and missed that.

Rhana:  I told you I was squinting.

Sean:  You know they blew up the Death Star in Star Wars, right? Did you see that part?

Rhana:  Can I stab you in the eye now?

Sean:  Well, there was that scene. And it was scary.

Rhana:  What do you find scary? The Phantom Menace?

Sean:  I find The Hangover scary.

Rhana:  You’re the scary one. WHY?

Sean:  Because people find it funny. One of my dearest friends loves that film, and I have to bite my tongue when she talks about it.Well, I don’t always bite my tongue. In fact, I’m surprised she’s still my friend.

Rhana:  I’m surprised people don’t throw tomatoes at you when you walk down the street.

Sean:  I’m a vegetarian imagine the money I’d save. But look here. You said you didn’t care for The Hangover, either. Or did you squint through that one, too? Is that how Americans watch movies? SQUINT-O-VISION?

Rhana:  I’d rather watch The Hangover than any of the PA movies.

Sean:  I don’t know you. The last scene in Paranormal Activity didn’t scare you? When Big Eyes goes all super scary Hulk and tosses Dork Meat away?

Rhana:  That wasn’t scary. Seriously, is that the scene where you started crying? ALSO, I may have been eating croutons at the dining table when that happened.

Sean:  It frightened me. I will admit that. So you’re not going to watch the rest? There is a MYTHOLOGY at work here.

Rhana:  You mean, they get dumber?

Sean:  I’m beginning to see why Americans love Michael Bay.

Rhana:  I DON’T love Michael Bay (Hi, Michael, I’m a writer for hire. Call me!).

Sean:  (Hi, Michael! I’m Rhana’s writing partner! We do angst and explosions real good!)

And no, smartass, they get DEEPER.

Rhana:  Oh, we are so hired. DEEPER? What is this? A porno? I’m not taking movie advice from you anymore.

Sean:  At least I don’t google porn actresses who play Dungeons and Dragons like some people I know.

Rhana:  That was you, dumb dumb.

Sean:  Oh. Shit. I thought it sounded familiar.

Rhana:  I have the tweets to prove it.

Sean:  ANYWAY….Paranormal Activity 2 and Paranormal Activity 3 explain why PA1 happened. There are wikis. They involve…I’m suddenly aware of what this will sound like…

Rhana:  You should probably stop. NOW. You said Paranormal Activity AND wikis in the same sentence.

Sean:  Well…it involves a witch’s coven. From the Thirties.

Rhana:  Next you’ll tell me that the rest of the Saw franchise is really good.

Sean:  No, I never will. I don’t like gore. That isn’t horror to me. It’s just shock. Kinda like that time you and I talked on the phone for the first time.

Rhana:  Oh, so now you have your standards. Is that one of your back-handed comments?

Sean:  It’s my first after your ten, yes.

Rhana:  I don’t think I’ve been that mean to you. You’re too soft. That’s what happens when you stop drinking.

Sean:  I enjoy your barbed affection. It keeps me balanced. And for the record, you sound lovely on the phone. Even when you’re calling me a dork. Have you seen anything good of late?

Rhana:  I watched Contagion with the 9-year-old yesterday. Not bad, in that everyone dies sort of way.

Sean:  I wanted to watch that but was afraid there would be scenes with chimps in cages. I can’t take that.

Rhana:  No chimps in cages. I promise.

Sean:  Oh, then, I’ll watch it. Isn’t that woman from Inception in it?

Rhana:  That would be Marion Cotillard. You like her, don’t you?

Sean:  Not sure. She was good in Dark Knight Rises, but creeped me out in Inception.

Rhana:  I don’t know if I like her or not. She’s definitely no Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

Sean:  Kat Dennings and Anne Hathaway are the only unattainable crushes I need.

Rhana:  Of course.

Sean:  And Louise Brooks circa 1928.

Rhana:  You’re so random.

Sean:  You’re so Raven.

Rhana:  Well, my work here is done.

Rhana and Sean are working on something.

Sean: You want to talk about grocery stores today? 

Rhana:  So I went to one yesterday.

 Sean:  Do tell.

 Rhana:  I’m going to be banned

 Sean:  ha ha ha

 Rhana:  from Whole Foods

 Sean:  So is Whole Food like one of those hippie places?

 Rhana: They sell organic, non-GMO, vegan, veggie, sustainable everything.

 Sean:  Hippie place then. Go on.

 Rhana:  Well, I was there with the baby, as usual. And we were in the liquor section.

 Sean: Wait wait.

 Rhana:  That’s where they carry wine and stuffs.

 Sean::  I’m still mindblown about there being booze in a grocery store. Canadian here.

 Rhana:  Canadians. Sheesh.   Anyway, I was pushing the cart, with the baby in it, and she put her arm out and grabbed a bottle.

 Sean:  Teach ‘em early, Rhana.

 Rhana:  And then proceeded to drop it. And the bottle hit a couple other bottles and they all broke. And i just stood there. Like an idiot. FROZEN.

 Sean:  So is your baby in jail now?

 Rhana:  I wish. I mean, YAY she’s not. The manager had to come out and talk with me.

Ask if we were okay, blah, blah. There was a crowd gathering.I think my face is in the today’s newspaper somewhere.

Sean: Did they make you pay for your baby’s rampage?

Rhana:  Thankfully, the manager saw my distress and I believe he took pity on me and said i didn’t have to pay for any of it. But I did offer to pay for spilled wine.

 Sean:  They should have offered you a free bottle. A plastic one.

 Rhana:  I would take that.

Anyway, I forgot to buy what I went in there for. Dinner.

 Sean:  This sounds like the opening to a sitcom. MY SO CALLED MOMMY’S LIFE.

 Rhana:  NOT starring Claire Danes.

 Sean:  Or an episode of Degrassi where Spike goes shopping with her kid.

Do you get Degrassi down there?

 Rhana:  Yes, we do receive this Degrassi

 Sean:  A fine Canadian export. The classic Degrassi. I can’t speak for the New Degrassi.

  Rhana:  Or an episode of Adventure Time!

  Sean:  RHANA’S ADVENTURE TIME

 Rhana:  That’s better

 Sean:  Sponsored by Absolut Vodka.

 Rhana:  Oh geez.

 Sean:  Oh, I have to tell you. I went to a FANCY COFFEE PLACE TODAY

 Rhana:  Oooooh - do tell… Is it called STARBUCKS?

 Sean:  Nein. It’s even worse. It’s an INDEPENDENT. It’s one of those places filled with people texting their friends to tell them that they are there. So of course they look at me like I’m panhandling.

 Rhana:  A hipster hangout.

  Sean:  So a guy comes in to order a coffee. He looks very professional. He walks in and says, very loudly…”GIVE ME SOME OF YOUR HIGHEST OCTANE!” And I went, Jesus Christ.

  Rhana:  oh, fuck.

  Sean:  So the poor guy working behind the counter says, “Do you want dark roast, or medium roast, or..?”The professional guy gets upset. “I SAID I WANT YOUR HIGHEST OCTANE!”

So the guy pours the coffee, and the pro stops him. And says “LEAVE EXACTLY HALF AN INCH AT THE TOP FOR CREAM. HALF AN INCH.”

 Rhana:  There are no words. NO WORDS.

 Sean:He let us know he was the alpha male in that room, let me tell you. I felt so unmade by his manliness.

Rhana:  I bet you, you poor, poor thing.

  Sean: So, at the grocery store, do you flirt with the stockboys?

  Rhana:  No, no I do no flirting. Am I supposed to be? maybe that’s why my bread always gets crushed and i have sigh heavily and swear under my breath.

  Rhana:  Why do you flirt with stockboys? Or stockgirls?

 Sean:  I had a thing for the meat girl, but since I went vegetarian, it just seemed wrong.

My wife flirts incessantly with one stock boy. He’s about 24.

 Rhana:  Ohhhh, the meat girl. Does he know what’s he in for?

 Sean:  The meat girl caught me staring at her like three years ago.

 Rhana:  You dirty old man. Did you say anything to her at least OR did you scamper away??

 Sean:  I just felt embarrassed and really haven’t met her eye or talked to her since.

I don’t want to be THAT GUY who hangs out at the meat counter. Because there are those guys.

Guy Fieri wannabees.

 Rhana:  Then you’ll have to bleach your hair and become a douchebag.

 Sean:  The guys who order sausage and wink.

 Rhana:  Ughhhh. WHY??

 Sean:  So, that doesn’t work as an opening line? I’ll let them know.

 Rhana:  Things like that end with you getting slapped or kicked in the nads.

Just saying.

 Sean:  Noted. So this stockboy…my wife makes a point of saying hi to him each time and MIRACULOUSLY he always appears in whichever lane we’re in.

 Rhana:  Stalker.

 Sean:  He reminds me of Scott Pilgrim.

 Rhana:  I knew you were going to refer to that somehow at some point in this conversation.

 Sean:  YOU NEED TO SEE THIS FILM.

 Rhana:  It’s on the DVR. STOP bugging me about it.

 Sean:  Well, after this tumblr  post we need something to raise us from the comedy pit we’re in.

 Rhana:  I’m boycotting the movie.

 Sean:  I’m boycotting your face.

 Rhana:  Touche.

 Sean:  Nice to see we still got it.

Rhana:  Well, I watched INSIDIOUS with the 9yo over the weekend.

 Sean:  This is me with no words.

 Rhana:  silence

 Sean:  Oh, wait. There is one. WHY?

 Rhana:  I take it you hated it.

 Sean:  Hate is too strong a word. ‘Really fucking disappointed’ is better.

A good idea—a haunted house that moves—that just gives up halfway through.

 Rhana:  My soul is weak when it comes to horror movies. I get scared on the Haunted House ride at Disneyland.I don’t like things jumping out at me or creepy looking sub-human.

 Sean:  But you watch a lot of horror films.

 Rhana:  I know. It’s like I don’t want to watch them, but I have to. And that’s how you write when trying to express yourself.

 Sean:  To it’s credit, INSIDIOUS wasn’t a slasher film. It did rely on scares. So I’m down with that. BUT…

 Rhana:  Yes, that’s what I embraced about it.  I was afraid Patrick Wilson was going to take his clothes off in it again. He’s like the hipster version of Michael Douglas - always showing his ass in every movie.

 Sean:  That would have been too horrifying. Man Ass!

 Rhana:  Ha!

 Sean:  But I guess where it ran off the rails for me was when the mother sees a bugaboo in the baby’s room. Screams bloody blue murder.And then doesn’t mention it to her husband.

 Rhana:  Yeah, there were certain areas in the movie that were overly blatant, but I thought the underlying theme of the movie wasn’t bad.

 Sean:  It had a theme? Look at you, with all those high-flyin’ educamated words.

 Rhana:  “Patrick Wilson does not strip down in this movie.”

 Sean:  The psychic investigative team looked like they got lost on their way to an X-Files convention..

 Rhana:  That’s where I started wishing the movie would end. I didn’t like those two Lone Gunmen wannabes. Maybe they were there for hilarity, but it took away from the movement of the rest of the film and the characters.

 Sean:  Oh, agreed. Wasn’t one of them the writer of the film? I think he was. Always a good idea to put yourself in your own movie.

 Rhana:  Oh really? Well, I can’t blame him too much then.

Sean:  You can be a barista in our movie who gets really snappy with people in a cafe.

 Rhana:  Why are you always trying to typecast me?

 Sean: Hey, I’ll be the hobo asleep outside the cafe. You did better than me!

 Rhana:  I think that role kinda suits you.

 Sean:  I will not deny that blatant slur. So what other movies have you seen of late?

 Rhana:  I watched ALIENS and THE THING (2011). Two very different movies, wouldn’t you say?

 Sean:  One good, one not. Continue.

 Rhana:  THE SMURFS. I’d like to obliterate that memory from my brain.

 Sean:  I remember when you told me you were watching this I felt this cold shudder run through me.So, nausea or need to leave the human race behind? What reaction did you have?

 Rhana:  Listen, when you have kids, sometimes you have to gouge out your eyes in silence.

 Sean:  I hope you note all the sacrifices you make and present your children with them when they turn 20.This guilt alone should guarantee you a great nursing home.

 Rhana:  I’m presenting all the sacrifices as they happen so they know the type of suffering I’m going through for them.

 Sean:  Are you my mom?

 Rhana:  YOU BUTT!

 Sean:  HA! So, I also watched THE THING. Outside of Ramona Flowers, I didn’t see why the film was made.

 Rhana:  I fell asleep. It was truly a disappointment. Who thought when they were reading that screenplay that it was going to be wonderful?

 Sean:  Well, it had all the problems of a prequel: we KNOW how it ends, and we know no one here gets out alive. So, was there a strong need to tell the story of the Norwegians who found the monster? Did the Norwegian government fund this?

 Rhana:  Maybe they did.

 Sean:  There were a lot of Norwegians in this film. And yet? Filmed in Toronto.

 Rhana:  Perhaps Norwegians (read Canadians) wanted a silly arachnid looking alien roaming the streets.

Sean:  That copies everything it sees? We call those hipsters. OMG HIPSTERS ARE ALIENS! Call Kurt Russell!

 Rhana:  I hear The Decemberists singing right now. Kurt Russell can’t protect us.

 Sean:  We’re surrounded by two day stubble and ironic hats. FLAMETHROWERS!

…who sings that again?

 Rhana:  I don’t know.

 Rhana:  This is more difficult than discussing grocery stores.

 Sean:  J.Geils Band. How did we forget this?

 Rhana:  I was in the 3rd grade when I first heard of the J. Geils Band. How do you expect me to know this stuff?

Sean:  I just assume you know everything because you have that knowing look about you.

You’re like the assassin the bad guy goes to after the cheaper one failed to kill James Bond.

 Rhana:  You’ve been playing too many video games again. Time to hit Burger Time.

 Sean: Burger Time: The Revenging. Hey! I did see a good film! IN BRUGES.

 Rhana:  THAT was a good movie. And now I’m reminded that I watched  TRANSFORMERS: DARK SIDE OF THE MOON, which was not a great movie.

 Sean:  Was that ‘I’m a good mom’ movie or ‘Rhana likes giant robots’ movie?

 Rhana:  I have a weakness for the Transformers, but not Michael Bay.

 Sean:  So it’s like going to a trailer park Christmas because that’s where your beloved is from.

 Rhana:  EXACTLY. But then your beloved shoots you in the head because they tell you they’re in love with someone else.

 Sean:  And then everything starts spinning because that’s how Bay shoots action scenes. Or any scene. So, as a woman, how do you feel about women in the Transformers universe, Rhana?

(Sean ducks for cover)

 Rhana:  When will they actually hire a real actress for these stupid roles?

 Sean:  Not sure they’re hired for their acting.

 Rhana:  Oh you’re right. I just hate that Michael Bay feels that someone going to watch TRANSFORMERS isn’t also an intellectual. TRANSFORMERS could’ve been really great and a cool action movie, if… I don’t know. My brain is dying.

 Sean:  It goes beyond Bay. The entire studio assumes their audience has no attention span, so fill the screen with explosions and cleavage.Sure, critics howl, but these films make money. And you know somewhere someone is plotting out a HANGOVER/TRANSFORMERS crossover.

 Rhana:  We should just make it easy on ourselves and put explosions and boobs in our movie. Add a couple drunk guys for comic relief and we’ve got it made.

 Sean:  Wow. So I don’t have to change my first draft at ALL?

 Rhana:  I’m opening your fortune cookie and your fortune says “You will be looking for a new writing partner very, very, very soon.”

Sean: So, Rhana. Tell me about your time back in ancient days. Back when you hung out in those temples of by-gonery called….video game arcades.

Rhana: Well, I’d take my Ziploc full of quarters and always head to the back of the arcade where they had Centipede. I was little and had small hands, so Centipede was easy for me to play.

Sean: You had a Ziploc full of quarters? Oh My GOD. That’s adorable.

Rhana: There were also pennies and dimes in there and maybe some lint. And it was covered with scratch and sniff stickers

Sean: Like ironic scratch and sniff stickers like garbage cans or little flowers with smiley faces?

Rhana: I’m pretty sure they were fruit and cupcakes - I was really into stickers then.  Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about.

Sean: I’m not pretending. This is a Girl Thing. Much like playing Centipede. Which was a Girl Game up here in Canada.  Only girls played Centipede.

 Rhana: Oh, those girls…Well, almighty gamer, what did you play?  Burgertime??

Sean: Burger Time was such a terrible game, but it gave birth to all the restaurant games we have today. Pour a forty in respect. And I wasn’t judging Centipede. It was just an observation.

 Rhana: Sure, sure. Burgertime took A LOT of my quarters.

 Sean: Like a lot of games back then, I don’t think you could last longer than three minutes on a single quarter.

 Rhana: There was no way.  Did you ever play Zaxxon?

 Sean: Zaxxon was played by the guys in Maiden jean jackets who scared me.

 Rhana: YES! in Seattle, it was guys wearing AC/DC shirts with British Knights high tops.

  And yes, they were scary.

 Sean: But did you charm past them with your Ziploc bag and play it?

 Rhana: No, the arcade back then, was a total boys club and I got laughed at a lot or the boys just ignored me.

 Sean: Up here, a girl in an arcade caused a hush to fall.  A path would open up to the Centipede game.  And we would all admire the feathered hair and Jordache jeans in respectful silence.

 Rhana: I didn’t have feathered hair. I had a bowl cut. That hairstyle doesn’t give you a ton of street cred. You had feathered hair, didn’t you?

 Sean: I tried, but couldn’t get it right. I had many bad experiences with blow dryers.   I looked like I’d just stumbled out of a wind tunnel.

 Rhana: At least you didn’t share the same hairstyle with your mom. THAT was horrible.

 Sean: Horrible, but cute. So, let’s imagine L’il Rhana wandering into the arcade. You played Centipede and BurgerTime. What other games did you play?

Rhana: I tried to play Defender, but all those buttons confused me.

Sean: Defender up here was another hardcore stoner game. Same guys who played Zaxxon played that. They smelled of weed and high school sex.

Rhana: Gross.

Sean: But they could play that game, which even now, I CANNOT.   The planet always blows up, everyone dies, and I just fly around in space, awaiting the inevitable.

Rhana: Ha! I used to jump up and down behind these boys who played Tempest so I could see what was going on. That game hypnotized me.

Sean: Now, Tempest. That I could play.

Rhana: I think I spent my college fund on that game.

 Sean: Those Vector graphics were hypnotic.

Rhana: Did you like Joust? I hated those stupid birds.

Sean: The stoners avoided it probably because it gave them flashbacks.

 Rhana: Ha!

 Sean: Joust? I tried to play it, but you had to keep whacking that button and I’d get tired.

Rhana: I was really good at Qbert.

 Sean: I had that on Colecovision. Still couldn’t get past the third screen.  You know, I kinda suck at video games.

 Rhana: Don’t tell people that.

 Sean: Blow my street cred.  Like a bowl cut.

 Rhana: Exactly

 Sean: THIS IS MY BOWL CUT

Rhana: Hey - I didn’t have a choice with that bowl cut.  One day, you’ll wake up and look in the mirror, and you’ll have a bowl cut. There  There’s no waking up from that nightmare.

Sean: I thought bowl cuts were outlawed by the UN in the Eighties. The Dorothy Hamill Act, I believe it was called.

Rhana: My parents are lawbreakers.

 Sean: Clearly.  Raising outlaws.

Rhana: I mean, what type of parents let their 7 year old hang out at arcades?

 Sean: YOU WERE SEVEN?

 Rhana: They used to go to Las Vegas a lot and they’d leave me and my cousin at Circus Circus while they gambled.

Sean: HA HA HA

 Rhana: I used to get scared they’d leave me there and I’d have to become a carny or something.

Sean: ‘L’il Rhana—The Littlest Carny.” Now on Lifetime

 Rhana: I’m getting in the car with my scissors now and driving your way. You’re ready for the bowl cut.

Sean: Before you destroy my Herculean mane, what songs do you associate with arcades?

Rhana: Wow. Eye of the Tiger? That song makes me want to crotch punch people.

Sean: That’s a healthy reaction. No court would convict you. For me, it was ’ Heat of The Moment’ by Asia.

Rhana: I hate that song. Again, that song causes a violent reaction in me. And then there was Electric Avenue.

 Sean: That song is the sound of an empty soul on a garbage filled street.

Rhana: Exactly.

Sean: I also remember Saga songs.

 Rhana: Nooooooo!

 Sean: Like ‘On The Loose’.

 Rhana: I thought I locked those memories in a box and burned them. Thanks a lot.

Sean: A lot of metal was played in the local arcades, but now and again some smartass would play Huey Lewis and there’d be insurrections.

Rhana: The arcade in the bowling alley I’d go to always had on Air Supply and I’d see my family bowling while singing along. And now I know most of the lyrics to Air Supply songs. THIS is my curse.

Sean: I envision this little seven year old, jangling her Ziploc bag and nodding her bowl cut to Air Supply songs AND I LOVE IT. This is how I will now always think of you

 Rhana: I knew the bowl cut was going to haunt me forever.

Sean: Now, do you remember the names of the arcades? These were often the best parts of them.

Rhana: THAT I cannot remember. I can see the neon lights and hear the cheesy music, but can’t recall the names. And you?

Sean: Oh yes. These were the last places I was ever truly happy.

 Rhana: I didn’t know I was on the Hallmark channel today.   Hand me some tissues.

Sean: I’m just smearing Vaseline on the lens to give it that special soft focus look here.

Rhana: Oh man, stop talking about Vaseline. It may get you in trouble.

Sean: I have no idea what you’re talking about. Or too many ideas. Or here are the names of the local arcades. We had Wizards. Down the street we had the incredibly imaginatively titled Wizards 2.

 Rhana: I love that

 Sean: There was a block between them.

Rhana: Were they owned by the same people?

 Sean: Yep. They EXPANDED.

 Rhana: WOW.

 Sean: Down from them there was a really seedy, tiny place where everyone knew you went to score drugs. It was called Endless Arcade.

 Rhana: Sounds like a porn shop.

Sean: It was dark and gross. Lots of leather jackets in there.

 Rhana: I did play video games at this play called Fun Forest a few times.

 Sean: Now that sounds like a porn shop.  From the Seventies.

Rhana: The porn shops were close by, I’m sure.

 Sean: Did Fun Forest have a motif?

 Rhana: Well, it was an amusement park - like that KISS movie. It was creepy.

Sean: KISS MEETS THE PHANTOM?  Awesome film.

 Rhana: Was that what it was called? Scared me to death.

Sean: They were all drunk when they filmed it. It freaked me out as well.

 Rhana: AND the special effects were  bad.

 Sean: Andy Murray sounds like Ace Frehley saying ‘Fuck me’ when he serves.

It was the Seventies. Everything was bad. Except Boston albums.

 Rhana: He’s British - give him a break.  You did not just say Boston.

  NOW I’m gonna crotch punch you.

 Sean: Look, Rhana, I love Boston. We can work this out. You have the bowl cut. I have Boston.

 Rhana: Boston is two echelons lower than a bowl cut.

Sean: Ouch. That one stung.

Rhana: Here’s a pillow to cry yourself to sleep on.

 Sean: So, to end: do you still play video games? Have you continued the tradition? And if so, what are you playing RIGHT NOW?

Rhana: On the XBOX360, I cannot stop playing LEGO Batman 2. It’s difficult to play, though, when a 7yo is whispering in your ear how to play the whole level. Smartass.

Sean: The LEGO games are wonderful. And I like how you spell LEGO correctly. You will raise good children on that proof alone.

Rhana: Why thank you. Are you still playing that Samurai game?

Sean: Samurai Warriors 2. It’s absolute bullshit, but it’s addictive. And I’m playing Blue Dragon, and Minecraft. Because I’m an adult.  Speaking of which…(looks longingly at XBOX…)

 Rhana: yes…

 Rhana: You and I will never be adults.  NEVER.

Sean: So, Rhana, I saw The Lincoln Lawyer. ON YOUR RECOMMENDATION.

Rhana: AND…

Sean: It…was….. Not bad.

Rhana: I told you.

Sean: But I was disappointed a bit. No, a lot.

Rhana: Oh. Not like the book?

Sean: There was a book?

Rhana: It’s based on the book, Sherlock.

Sean: They do books still? I had hoped it would be about a guy who always quoted Lincoln.

Rhana: It’s amazing how your brain works. They will study it after you move on to another dimension.  It’s based on a book by Michael Connelly.

Sean: Oh, wait. I think I read one of his. THE POET? Nice to see they make moving pictures on his words.  And a talkie, too!

Rhana: And in COLOR.

Sean: Too bad it wasn’t in Sensurround. That would have ruled. Or if it had a shark.

 Rhana: McConnaughey could’ve jumped the shark.

Sean: He should have quoted Lincoln more. Like after every line in court. A few ‘fourscores’ here and there, mess with the bad guys

Rhana: He should have turned into a zombie and eaten Marisa Tomei’s face off.

Sean: And then the real Abraham Lincoln shows up in a time machine and shoots him and says ‘Fourscore that, motherfucker’.

Rhana: Do I give you your Oscar now or what?

Sean: I think someone already beat us to mining Lincoln for cheap exploitation already.  So, for those who haven’t seen it, what’s the elevator pitch for this film?

Rhana: Time Machine Abraham?

Sean: Never Miss A Theatre Date Again.

Rhana: Fourscore like you’ve never heard before. I think have Q-Tip come up with some rap thing and go from there.

Sean: So wait up. What’s this Marisa Tomei hate? She’s awesome. I won’t hear of it.

Rhana: Oh calm down. I like her too. Fine.  McConaughey chews off Ryan Phillipe’s face and leg. Happy?  Shoot. I think it’s Phillippe.  Why didn’t you like it?

Sean: I did. I just wanted more Lincoln. I didn’t know the only Lincoln was THE CAR HE DROVE AROUND IN.  What if he drove around in the corpse of Lincoln.  Oh man that would rule.  And he’s a zombie.  Eating bits of the car.

Rhana: Unbelievable.

Sean: Did you like it? Oh wait, Matthew was in it, of course you did.

Rhana: Please. I’m not big on Matthew. I wish he’d put on his shirt. Although, I still love him in Dazed & Confused.

Sean: Now that was a movie.  What if he’s the same guy in both films?

Rhana: You didn’t know THAT?

Sean: What—Matt’s character in Dazed and Confused is the same character he plays in Lincoln Lawyer? Man, that’s planning.  Didn’t know it was a sequel.

Rhana: Writers are smart like that, yo.

Sean: My only problem was how the slimeballs in this movie were like so over the top. Hitting on people while they’re in the witness stand. Really.

Rhana: OK. That was a little obvious, but mere mortals like me overlook stuff like that.

Sean: And the drinking. One shot of whiskey and I’m out for days. They really movie drink in this one.

Rhana: You mean you can’t have 5 beers and finish off a bottle of whiskey?  You lightweight.

Sean: What’s my timeline? Like a year? Maybe.

Rhana: Well, this movie was much better than some other McConaughey movies.

Sean: Like Sahara? Woooo

Rhana: Or Frailty.

Sean: Is it true that Matthew doesn’t use deodorant?

Rhana: Why are you asking me?

Sean: You recommended this film. I thought you’d know.

Rhana: Don’t you watch Entertainment Tonight?

Sean: I’m a little behind. Still on 1984.

Rhana: I don’t know about the deodorant.

Sean: I’ve heard Lenny Kravitz is a natural man.

Rhana: That sounds funny.  Maybe you should rephrase that.

Sean: Look American Woman, get away from me.

Rhana: Seriously.

Sean: See what I did there?  Huh? Did you?

Rhana: Unfortunately.

Sean: So can I pick the next movie?

Rhana: Of course. People will be clothed in this movie choice, right?

Sean: Oh, damn. Okay, forget it. You can pick it, then.

Rhana: Funny. You pick, but it must be in color.

Sean: Oh, it’ll be a doozy.